Judgment

In the Communications classes that I teach, we talk about judgment.  We learn that there are two types of judgment:  moralistic and value.

Moralistic judgment says:

“She is stupid.”  

“He’s lazy.”

We are assigning value to the person, as a PERSON, and saying who they are -- not talking about what they are doing that is creating the problem.  We are also moralistically saying that we know what is right, and what is wrong -- and we are the judge of that scale.

Value judgment, however, says this:

“Because I value honesty, I am going to vote for Bob.  I have had experiences with him in the past where he has been very honest with me.”

“I’m going to choose to work with Sam, because I value his experience and wisdom.”

Value judgments honor our ability to make our own choices, and identify our responsibility to make those choices based on what we think is important.  We acknowledge that others may make different choices based on what they value.

This morning, I was reading in the Book of Mormon.  Here’s 2 Nephi, Chapter 9, verse 7

"Wherefore, it must needs be an infinite atonement—save it should be an infinite atonement this corruption could not put on incorruption. Wherefore, the first judgment which came upon man must needs have remained to an endless duration. And if so, this flesh must have laid down to rot and to crumble to its mother earth, to rise no more."

This scripture interested me because the first judgment spoken of is a judgment that remains -- it remains in endless duration.

When we speak moralistically, we speak as if that person will always be that way.  “He’s lazy ……………...just …………...forever.”  That’s the problem with moralistic judgment.  Something happens, and we quickly leap to a moralistic judgment.  It’s our first response.

It’s more work to take a moment, think about what we value, and then respond.  But  when we do respond, we respond with what we value.  We take responsibility.  We identify what we want, and we explain why we choose that thing.  

It’s the only honest way to judge.

How Stupid Can Someone Be?

(Reference: 1 Nephi 17)

Nephi was told by the Lord to go on the mountain, and there he was instructed to build a ship.

So - he began to make tools.

He didn’t ask anyone to help - he just went to do what he believed he should do.

Laman and Lemuel came along, and saw him making tools.  They asked him what the tools were for.  

When Nephi told them, they responded this way:

Nephi’s a fool.  He think she can build a ship.  (Essentially - how stupid can you get?)

But wait.

Did Nephi ask them to decide if he was foolish or not?  Did Nephi ask for their suggestions/advice/input as to his decision?  Did Nephi’s decision to build a ship and make tools in any way impact Laman and Lemuel at that time?

No.

So - why did they choose to respond to what he was doing?

Couldn’t they have chosen to simply let him do it?  What would have been the big deal?  

So many times that happens in life.  We’re happily minding our own business and someone comes and notices us.  They then decide the “right-ness” or the “wrong-ness” of whatever it is we are doing.

Who cares?  And why?

Laman and Lemuel were literally looking at Nephi to find any excuse to call his actions wrong.  

Not a peaceful way to live.

So - when situations like that happen in your life, remember this story.  Nephi had a right to do whatever he thought was right.  You do too.  Don’t buy into the idea that you are foolish because someone else decides what you are doing is “wrong.”  Don’t lose your perspective because of someone else’s opinion.  Recognize that for what it is.  Move forward with confidence.

Don’t let anyone else’s doubts about “what stupid is” change YOU.

Maybe The Goal Is Not Efficiency

Efficiency makes sense.  If we’re efficient, we get things accomplished, and have more time to do other things!

One day, however, it dawned on me that “efficiency” as I understand it may not be “efficient” in terms of how the Lord defines the term  Since I am sure He would do things in the best way possible, I began to wonder what being efficient means to Heavenly Father, and to Jesus Christ.  

Could it be that “my” view of being efficient is actually a philosophy of man?  Could my view of “being efficient” actually lead me away from the Lord?

In my view, I’m try hard to be efficient.  I think that is how I am supposed to be, to improve myself, and to become “more.”  So I try to think of ways to do things better, and often get frustrated when I can’t seem to be as efficient as I would like to be.  I’m the one who is multi-tasking, and who gets impatient if others aren’t as quick to respond as I would like.  

Consider a few scriptural examples.  Lehi was commanded by the Lord to take his family and leave Jerusalem, and to go out into the wilderness.  Of course, Lehi immediately obeyed.  However, it wasn’t too long until the Lord told Lehi to have his sons return to Jerusalem and get the brass plates.  But again, Lehi told the sons, and they return  to Jerusalem and obtained the plates.  

Again, though, the Lord told Lehi to have his sons return to Jerusalem.  This time they were instructed to talk to Ishmael, and request that he and his family accompany them back into the wilderness, to journey with Nephi.  Yes, this happened.

Wait a minute, though.  This wasn’t exactly “efficient.”  Surely the Lord knew right from the start that Lehi’s family would be establishing a new civilization, and would need the brass plates.  Surely He knew that they would need to have Ishmael’s family travel with them.

Why not combine trips?

As a mom, I’m always thinking about combining trips with my errands.  For one thing, I don’t want to have to get my kids in and out of the car for a zillion trips to town.  It’s much easier to just do everything in one day.  It’s more efficient.  I can get more done that way.

The Cambridge Dictionary says that efficient means:  to work or operate in a way that gets the results you want without any waste.

Surely the Lord is efficient.

And surely, the Lord does not waste anything.

So - what is the definition of waste?

According to the dictionary again, waste, the verb, means this:  to use or expend carelessly, extravagantly, or to no purpose.  Synonyms include squander, fritter away, or throw away.

So apparently, the number of trips Lehi told his sons to make back to Jerusalem were purposeful.  In addition to getting the plates and Ishmael’s family, what could the purpose be?

It’s interesting that the dictionary’s 8th definition of the word waste tells us that waste (of the human body) means that it becomes progressively weaker and more fragile and frail, gradually becoming emaciated.

Could it be that the Lord wanted Nephi, Sam, Laman, and Lemuel to become strong?  Surely the trip through the wilderness would be physically hard, meaning that physically, they would gain strength.  But there is also emotional strength to be gained by heeding the commandments of God, and figuring out how to obey.

The lessons of Zion’s Camp seem to show us this same pattern.  Zion’s camp was a 900-mile journey led by Joseph Smith.  The Saints traveled from Kirtland, Ohio to Clay County, Missouri.

Their purpose was to regain the land they had lost when the Saints had been expelled by the mobs in Missouri.  

They did not achieve their purpose, nor their goal.  Zions camp was disbanded.

Efficient?  Hardly.

But wait.  The dictionary  said that being efficient means that you aim to get the results you want without any undue effort or waste.

Oh.  It’s about results.  Of course.  

Many times what I want is simply to check off the box that says, “Done.”

What I may need, though, is to realize that “done” may not be the goal.  The goal may be growth.  Maybe I need to develop a character trait. After all, patience is probably not going to be developed at the same time as I become “efficient.”  Maybe I need to change how I view different experiences.  Maybe I need to be more humble, and to ask God what He would have me do, and how fast He would have me run.

Elder David A. Bednar, an Apostle of the Lord, said this:

"As individuals and families, we too will be tested, sifted, and prepared as were the members of Zion’s Camp.  The scriptures and the teaching of the Brethren are replete with promises that faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, the making, honoring, and remembering of sacred covenants, and obedience to God’s commandments will strengthen us to prepare for, to face, to overcome, and to learn from the trials and tests of mortality."

https://www.lds.org/liahona/2017/07/on-the-lords-side-lessons-from-zions-camp?lang=eng&_r=1

So - when I get frustrated, and bemoan my lack of efficiency, maybe I would do well to ponder what the word “efficiency” means to the Lord.  Efficiency may mean that the purpose of something may be to gain faith, or to build resilience or trust in the Lord.  Efficiency may mean that I need to focus lesson “reaching the goal,” and focus on more on “who I am becoming” en route.  Maybe I need to give up my pre-conceived expectations that tell me I have to get things “done,” and focus instead on “accomplishing what the Lord would have me accomplish.”  Maybe it’s much more about the intent of my heart, and my desire to keep on the path that leads to Him, rather than efficiently trying to wish the path were shorter and less of a bother.

Maybe I can learn to be calm, and hence, more efficient in heart, regardless of how many times I have to backtrack, start over, pull myself up again, and regroup.  Maybe that is being more “efficient” than I thought.

Principle Two

Feelings & thoughts combine, form belief.

That is a paradigm.

Example:  1 Nephi 11

1 For it came to pass after I had desired to know the things that my father had seen, and believing that the Lord was able to make them known unto me, as I sat pondering in mine heart I was caught away in the Spirit of the Lord, yea, into an exceedingly high mountain, which I never had before seen, and upon which I never had before set my foot.

Mountain - representing temple, representing knowledge of God Himself.

He had to be there in order to learn this kind of thing about God.

We go to the temple to seek knowledge - believing He will grant us that knowledge.

Steps:  1.  Thinking about father’s vision.  2.  Pondered in heart.  That’s the combination - F&T.  As a result of that, he decided that he believed (next verses).  This is a paradigm.  So Nephi has chosen how to view things - with the lens of belief.

2 And the Spirit said unto me: Behold, what desirest thou?

The choice of how to combine his F&T led to having him realize what he wanted.  He made a decision to seek answers now.  Before, he didn’t know that is what he wanted.

When we want something, it’s because we have thought about it, and we have some kind of a feeling about it.

That’s what desire is.

3 And I said: I desire to behold the things which my father saw.

Why did he need to SAY it?  Is it because we have to acknowledge, answer, participate in the conversation?  Crucial conversations.  Is this “counseling” with the Lord?

4 And the Spirit said unto me: Believest thou that thy father saw the tree of which he hath spoken?

So - the Spirit knows what Nephi wants -but he still asks him what he believes about his father’s vision.  Specifically, he asks -- what do you believe about the tree?  So why would the Spirit ask that?

Well, the Spirit and Nephi are going to mutually talk together.  They have to have a mutually solid starting point of what is true.  So he asked:  Do you believe the words of your father?  If you do, I can expand upon them.  But if you do not believe those words, then we can’t expand upon them - because the issue would be that we need to go back and help you develop your faith to believe.  So we’d have to start with strengthening faith, rather than with exapnding upon where your faith already is.  But - Nephi had already decided that he believed the words of his father, and that’s what he told the Spirit.  So the Spirit could help Nephi understand what the tree was, and what the rod was, etc.  

If that wasn’t the case, then the Spirit would have had to have said, “Well, IF you believed the vision of your father, then IF your father saw the tree, this is what it would have meant.  But it wouldn’t work.  You can’t learn the things of God without the Spirit - without the FEEL.  Without the feel, it wouldn’t be real.  Without REAL, you can’t discern.  

This is why later L&L can see the angel - KNOW it is from God, but still feel fear when they think of what Laban could do to them (he’s so mighty!).  You can ONLY access the power of God through FEEL.  They couldn’t see how they could possibly be protected from Laban’s power, and they were afraid.  

It’s definitely the combination of our F&T that lead to being able to utilize the power of God and have faith in Him.  If we don’t have faith in HIm, it isn’t real to us - and if it isn’t real to us, we can’t be changed by that.

5 And I said: Yea, thou knowest that I believe all the words of my father.

Nephi is declaring his commitment to God, and He knows that.  We can’t really pick and choose what part of God’s words we will believe.  If we are going to believe HIM, we have to believe all His words.  He doth not vary.  Without that confidence in HIM, we can’t be transformed.  

6 And when I had spoken these words, the Spirit cried with a loud voice, saying: Hosanna to the Lord, the most high God; for he is God over all the earth, yea, even above all. And blessed art thou, Nephi, because thou believest in the Son of the most high God; wherefore, thou shalt behold the things which thou hast desired.

-----------------------

So how do we apply this to our own emotions?

We have to take responsibility for our own emotions.  We need to figure out what our emotions tell us about what we believe.  We do this by asking ourselves:

What am I believing about this?

What am I feeling about this?

And then we ask:

What do I want to ask God?  (Or -- DO I want to ask God? )

At this point, we acknowledge several things:

1. There are answers, and God knows what they are.
2. I have a right to ask my questions.  I ask those questions because I want to understand something - not because I ask those questions for personal gain or reward.  Nephi wanted to know what those things meant.
3. He will reveal those answers to us, as we ponder and believe.
4. We know that we are counseling with God, and acknowledge that He is there, and that He is helping us understand and learn and know.
   

Do You Suppose...

Do you suppose……?

When something happens, our mind goes to work to interpret it.  This gives meaning to the event.

Our emotions assign value to what happened.   It’s how we interpret things that make the difference.   

There is a Book of Mormon story that clearly shows how this works.

Previous to this chapter, Lehi had asked his sons, Nephi, Laman, Lemuel, and Sam, to return to Jerusalem.  They were to ask Laban, a powerful ruler, if he would give them the Brass Plates.  This was no small task.  Why would Laban want to give them the plates?    Nephi had the unshakeable faith that they would be able to accomplish this, because he knew that this was a commandment of the Lord.  Laman and Lemuel were not convinced of this, but they had all gone to Jerusalem.  

In Chapter 5, we find that the brothers had returned to their parents, and had obtained the plates due to Nephi’s faith and diligence.   Lehi and Sariah (his wife) were very glad.

The verses tell us, though, that while the boys were gone, Sariah had mourned.   

Verse 2 says:  For she had supposed that we had perished in the wilderness; and she had also complained against my father, telling him that he was a visionary man; saying:  Behold, thou hast led us forth from the lands of our inheritance, and my sons are no more, and we perish in the wilderness.

Sariah’s “supposings” were very  logical.  The wilderness was very dangerous.  Laban was a very powerful man, and not  a righteous one.  He wouldn’t willingly give her sons the plates just because they asked for them, and Sariah knew this.  He would probably have her sons killed just because they dared to approach him about it.  The boys had been gone a long time.  She supposed they were dead.  It was logical that they would die, too, in the wilderness.

She “supposed” wrong.

Contrast that with Lehi’s “supposings”.

Verse 5.  For behold, I have obtained a land of promise, in which things I do rejoice; yea, and I know that the Lord will deliver my sons out of the hands of Laban, and bring them down again to us in the wilderness.

Lehi’s “supposings” were totally different.  They surely were in the wilderness, not in a land of promise - and yet to him, the land of promise was as real as if they were already there.  It had been given to him, and he knew it.  He also knew that his sons were coming.  He might not see them now, but they would return.

We can use this in our lives to help us keep faith, be strong, and to be full of courage.  What do we “suppose”?  Do we “suppose” with the eye of faith - or with the “logical” thinking of the world?  

It matters.

As You Go Forth

The Book of Mormon begins with the story of Lehi and his family.  In the very first chapter of 1 Nephi the story begins.  We are told how there are many prophets in Jerusalem, telling the people to repent.  Lehi is one of them.  

5 Wherefore it came to pass that my father, Lehi, as he went forth prayed unto the Lord, yea, even with all his heart, in behalf of his people.

6 And it came to pass as he prayed unto the Lord, there came a pillar of fire and dwelt upon a rock before him; and he saw and heard much;.....

Lehi was then shown a marvelous vision.  

How does this apply to emotional health?

There are many troubling things in our world today, just as Lehi faced in his day.  It would be natural to become confused, worried, or frustrated with many things that happen.  

Yet - if we can “go forth,” as Lehi did, we help ourselves out emotionally.  Just move forward - despite confusion, frustration, or uncertainty.  Make a choice to move, and move forward.  Do not stand still, and do not go back.  Move forward.  

Maybe that looks like this: If we are confused, make a choice that we think will help us move forward.  Maybe it isn’t a perfect choice.  Maybe we don’t know if it is the right choice.  But - do we think it will allow to move forward even a little bit?  Does it hold true to who we want to be?  If so, move forward.

Lehi certainly did not know that he would be asked to leave Jerusalem.  He just went forth -- forward.  

And as he did, he prayed.  We can do that too.

Miraculous things will happen as we start the momentum.