How Do You Handle Fear?

Sometimes life is very frightening, and hard.  This morning I listened to an excellent TED talk, given by a woman who had escaped from North Korea under very frightening situations.  

Here’s the link to that talk:  https://www.google.com/search?q=ted+talks+how+i+escaped+north+korea&oq=Ted+talk+how+I+escaped&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0.6512j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

There can be times of “smaller” fear, too.  

I might be afraid to give a speech.

I might be a little hesitant to start a new business venture.

A year or so ago, my husband was laid off work, and I experienced fear then.  

What would happen if he couldn’t find a job before our savings ran out?

How do we handle the emotion of fear?

Our choice of how to deal with fear will depend on our paradigm.  I speak much of paradigms, because they are so very important.  A paradigm is the way we see the situation.  A paradigm might be based only on how we see one event, or it might be a way we see life in general.  That would be called a world view.

The important thing to note is that we get to choose our own paradigm.  We can see this constantly in the scriptures.  We’re told to “choose this day” whom we will serve.  We’re shown examples of people who have believed in the Lord, and what happens as a result, and we’re shown examples of people who do not choose the Lord, and we see the consequences of that paradigm too.

So - when we feel fear, what paradigm will bring us peace?  

2 Nephi 22: 2 Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid; for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also has become my salvation.

3 Therefore, with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.

Remember the scripture that is in D&C 6:36:

Look unto me in every thought:  doubt not, fear not.

So here’s a paradigm that will bring peace:

If we look to God, and see Him as Salvation, our viewpoint will actually help change our feelings.  Instead of feeling fear, because we are looking towards God, we will feel trust, and the fear will leave.  We will know that God is our strength.  That means we will change, for we will actually BE strong, and not weak.  

We will know that God has become our salvation..

Think about it:  when we feel fear, what do we need?  We need, essentially,  salvation.  We need help of some kind.

What will be the “fruit” of that paradigm?

Verse 3, again, tells us, that “with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.”

That’s what peace would feel like, isn’t it?  All we have to do is choose where (to what source)  to look!

Principles:  #1:  Feelings and thoughts are energy.

                    #3:  Emotions lead to action.  (We make decisions & choose our viewpoint.)

    We act, based on that viewpoint.

Maybe The Goal Is Not Efficiency

Efficiency makes sense.  If we’re efficient, we get things accomplished, and have more time to do other things!

One day, however, it dawned on me that “efficiency” as I understand it may not be “efficient” in terms of how the Lord defines the term  Since I am sure He would do things in the best way possible, I began to wonder what being efficient means to Heavenly Father, and to Jesus Christ.  

Could it be that “my” view of being efficient is actually a philosophy of man?  Could my view of “being efficient” actually lead me away from the Lord?

In my view, I’m try hard to be efficient.  I think that is how I am supposed to be, to improve myself, and to become “more.”  So I try to think of ways to do things better, and often get frustrated when I can’t seem to be as efficient as I would like to be.  I’m the one who is multi-tasking, and who gets impatient if others aren’t as quick to respond as I would like.  

Consider a few scriptural examples.  Lehi was commanded by the Lord to take his family and leave Jerusalem, and to go out into the wilderness.  Of course, Lehi immediately obeyed.  However, it wasn’t too long until the Lord told Lehi to have his sons return to Jerusalem and get the brass plates.  But again, Lehi told the sons, and they return  to Jerusalem and obtained the plates.  

Again, though, the Lord told Lehi to have his sons return to Jerusalem.  This time they were instructed to talk to Ishmael, and request that he and his family accompany them back into the wilderness, to journey with Nephi.  Yes, this happened.

Wait a minute, though.  This wasn’t exactly “efficient.”  Surely the Lord knew right from the start that Lehi’s family would be establishing a new civilization, and would need the brass plates.  Surely He knew that they would need to have Ishmael’s family travel with them.

Why not combine trips?

As a mom, I’m always thinking about combining trips with my errands.  For one thing, I don’t want to have to get my kids in and out of the car for a zillion trips to town.  It’s much easier to just do everything in one day.  It’s more efficient.  I can get more done that way.

The Cambridge Dictionary says that efficient means:  to work or operate in a way that gets the results you want without any waste.

Surely the Lord is efficient.

And surely, the Lord does not waste anything.

So - what is the definition of waste?

According to the dictionary again, waste, the verb, means this:  to use or expend carelessly, extravagantly, or to no purpose.  Synonyms include squander, fritter away, or throw away.

So apparently, the number of trips Lehi told his sons to make back to Jerusalem were purposeful.  In addition to getting the plates and Ishmael’s family, what could the purpose be?

It’s interesting that the dictionary’s 8th definition of the word waste tells us that waste (of the human body) means that it becomes progressively weaker and more fragile and frail, gradually becoming emaciated.

Could it be that the Lord wanted Nephi, Sam, Laman, and Lemuel to become strong?  Surely the trip through the wilderness would be physically hard, meaning that physically, they would gain strength.  But there is also emotional strength to be gained by heeding the commandments of God, and figuring out how to obey.

The lessons of Zion’s Camp seem to show us this same pattern.  Zion’s camp was a 900-mile journey led by Joseph Smith.  The Saints traveled from Kirtland, Ohio to Clay County, Missouri.

Their purpose was to regain the land they had lost when the Saints had been expelled by the mobs in Missouri.  

They did not achieve their purpose, nor their goal.  Zions camp was disbanded.

Efficient?  Hardly.

But wait.  The dictionary  said that being efficient means that you aim to get the results you want without any undue effort or waste.

Oh.  It’s about results.  Of course.  

Many times what I want is simply to check off the box that says, “Done.”

What I may need, though, is to realize that “done” may not be the goal.  The goal may be growth.  Maybe I need to develop a character trait. After all, patience is probably not going to be developed at the same time as I become “efficient.”  Maybe I need to change how I view different experiences.  Maybe I need to be more humble, and to ask God what He would have me do, and how fast He would have me run.

Elder David A. Bednar, an Apostle of the Lord, said this:

"As individuals and families, we too will be tested, sifted, and prepared as were the members of Zion’s Camp.  The scriptures and the teaching of the Brethren are replete with promises that faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, the making, honoring, and remembering of sacred covenants, and obedience to God’s commandments will strengthen us to prepare for, to face, to overcome, and to learn from the trials and tests of mortality."

https://www.lds.org/liahona/2017/07/on-the-lords-side-lessons-from-zions-camp?lang=eng&_r=1

So - when I get frustrated, and bemoan my lack of efficiency, maybe I would do well to ponder what the word “efficiency” means to the Lord.  Efficiency may mean that the purpose of something may be to gain faith, or to build resilience or trust in the Lord.  Efficiency may mean that I need to focus lesson “reaching the goal,” and focus on more on “who I am becoming” en route.  Maybe I need to give up my pre-conceived expectations that tell me I have to get things “done,” and focus instead on “accomplishing what the Lord would have me accomplish.”  Maybe it’s much more about the intent of my heart, and my desire to keep on the path that leads to Him, rather than efficiently trying to wish the path were shorter and less of a bother.

Maybe I can learn to be calm, and hence, more efficient in heart, regardless of how many times I have to backtrack, start over, pull myself up again, and regroup.  Maybe that is being more “efficient” than I thought.